There comes that time in life when you feel like sitting on deck-chair with a cool drink in your hand, watching the sunset restore calm in the world and your life. That time usually comes when you've got everything you ever asked for. Everything you ever dreamed of has been achieved and now you can relax. But wait, this perfect picture has something missing and you can't for the life of you put a finger on it. Drat.
Sadly, I am in that place right about now. I've actuy been able to tick off almost all the items on my checklist. Feels great! And then a moment comes towards the end of the day where all I am thinking about is - what's missing? Something is not right. This moment is incomplete. What completes it? Honest answer? I don't know.
Its a feeling that gnaws on my insides every single day and the worst bit is how in the world am I supposed to quit wanting beyond the happiness? Its not pretty. Its not good. And its definitely not what I want to go through. I don't want to negate the happiness I have already. But its all incomplete.
But it dawns on me at the exact same time that maybe being incomplete is kind of the point of life. Its something close to what they taught us in economics - the theory of fiscal deficits. It says that its always good to have a deficit in the debit and credit of an economy to facilitate development otherwise in a balanced situation the economy stands to stagnate. Assuredly, life is like that. If I have nothing to dream about, nothing to fight for and nothing to miss, I won't ever grow out of what I am right now. Perhaps I'll develop a new side to me in trying to find what's missing. And with a little bit of time, luck and help from people who love me, I might just someday complete this jigsaw puzzle that I've been working on. And that day, the picture will be pretty again and the sunset will restore calm as imagined.
=D
