Knowing Me...

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If I say I'm just a teenager leading a life as normal as it can get, I sort of defy what I stand for. Its not all that easy but it has its moments. I like those moments when they come along and they bring with them a significant amount of emotion, which I only began expressing in words at age 7. Since then, its all about the writing. It gets to certain people and some just don't get it! But I think that its important for me to write because that is maybe the only talent that exists in me [not denying the presence of good enough speech to win a few here and there =P] There is little I know and there is much I simply yap about but I make sure that if its really got to be said, it better be said, however in the wrong or right. I feel much. There are lot of things I plainly observe and those are sort of the things that I adore writing about. I'm inspired by minute details and small things that have a huge impact much later on. There is much more to me that most know and many have bothered not about. Not like I want them to. But I'd like to be known. And that's what I think I stand for, being known beyond what is known. =D

Sunday, August 29, 2010

A New Kind of Liveliness...

this being the holy period of Ramadan [or Ramzan, however you wish to refer to it], i became particularly curious about the hype that surrounds the gallis of Mohammedali road in the southern parts of Mumbai. the best kind of foods during this fast period are supposed to be found there and i've heard tonnes. so, taking the opportunity presented, my family and i went off to Mohammedali road on saturday.

saturday = bad idea. its bad enough going to a highly crowded place with nothing to eat except for Mithais, now that i am a vegetarian, but its worse to go on the weekends, when the whole universe decides to eat there! it was jam-packed! we took a good 2 hours getting there, to start with, and when we reached, there was absolutely no space to walk, whatsoever. any the how, we ended up squeezing in and entered the galli that immediately engulfs you in its warmth, which is full of the smell of cooking oil and meat. i used to relish that once upon a time, and still do. the masalas are intoxicating, whatever the preparation!

everyone in our little group, barring my mother and i [who were decidedly the most enthusiastic about just being there], knew what they wanted to eat. i just looked around and i saw something i didn't expect in the least - it was a different meaning to life altogether. it didn't look like one big party because they had the right to party, it looked like a celebration of devotion. a celebration of having the strength to not eat or drink for hours together, and still be smiling. and that energy radiated down to me as well. i hadn't eaten anything in good 6 hours but i didn't bother in the least, because i was just happy. happy to see so many people test themselves in the name of God by putting themselves through an ordeal i'm sure most of us can't even think of managing. we cringe at the thought of no food or water till the moon comes out on karva chauth, which is a fast in the name of the husbands, but that's just one day! everyone who keeps the fast during Ramadan does the same thing every day for 40 days [if i have my facts right] and they're still smiling.

i think, at the end of the day, we all like getting a certain amount back for what we do each day. in whatever form that may be, we just like being on the receiving end. but i think this experience at Mohammadali road taught me that at the end of the day, if your work is honest, and if you do it with a smile, you're going to be rewarded anyhow because there's a lot one puts at stake to get by in a day. and i salute that. entirely.


P.S.: i ended up having some great stuff. i had phirnis and a sweet spongy-cake like dessert, topped with badam, pista and rabdi [cream], the name of which i forgot. and i had some Indian chinese at a restaurant there, so i did eat something substantial even as a vegetarian, as many other happy smiley faces broke their fasts around me.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Too Late...

over conversations with a lot of people, and a lot of introspective thinking, i've come across many situations where the dead end is that "it was too late." be it a concert for which one missed the show by one ticket, or a date, or even a lost inspiration. the dejection of that loss is only reflected in one statement -it was too late. but why is it too late?

in my opinion, which is expressed far too often for the liking of a lot of people, i believe nothing, and i mean nothing, can happen too late. it only happens when we're ready to face what it really entailed. every consequence thereon is something that can only be tackled because we're accomplished enough to take on the challenge of it.

some people can't realise their choice in life. and when they do, they say its too late because they've already reconciled themselves to their fates that the opportunity would never present itself again. but when it does, they say its too late because they've already settled for what is not theirs to have! i'm not saying sit around waiting for it, because that's senseless and life isn't life unless you make some sense of it. what i'm saying is, welcome the opportunity if it returns and if it doesn't excite you as much as it did and doesn't define your life as well as it did before, then it isn't what you've always needed, wanted or deserved.

i believe these situations in life are like walking in a maze blindfolded. you only have your good sense to guide you and when you hit a wall, you know its time to turn in a new direction, explore a new possibility. probably be in a better situation than before. and the best part, you can't expect what the path holds because your vision doesn't support you. when you hear people say "expect the unexpected", they mean exactly this - go ahead with your blindfold and you'll only know that you're ready to uncover your eyes when you've reached your goal.

i've heard people crib, myself included, about times where we really need help and we dont get it, but we get help at all the times where we're self-sufficient. that only happens to let us know that, like money needs to be saved in a bank account for later, this help needs to be acknowledged so that we can claim it when we need it most. relationships are like investments, they always grow into something fruitful and last only for as long as you're willing to be patient with their growth process. so we've only got to create those safe deposits and investments for ourselves before it really is too late.

when we miss an important moment, it probably isn't as important to us as we think it is, and we only have a heightened sense of importance for it because we're supposed to want certain things. but if we only complied with what we think we want, we're never going to know what we want, and everything in life will happen just a little too late...



they call me a torchbearer

for they believe i pave

the way forward

for those who crave an escape

making my pride escalate thus

to giddy heights, from where i can't see

what lies below the dust at my feet

but only the way ahead of me

they say i'm a torchbearer

claiming i radiate energy

but if only i could see what they've inferred

i could very well realise my true vibrancy

at the head of the line

with a thousand eyes in hope

joined by a few more

look to me for guidance

for i am their torchbearer

but the path is unclear to me

and no one to lead me on

to a destiny that awaits

countless others, but they cannot see

and only look to me...