Knowing Me...

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If I say I'm just a teenager leading a life as normal as it can get, I sort of defy what I stand for. Its not all that easy but it has its moments. I like those moments when they come along and they bring with them a significant amount of emotion, which I only began expressing in words at age 7. Since then, its all about the writing. It gets to certain people and some just don't get it! But I think that its important for me to write because that is maybe the only talent that exists in me [not denying the presence of good enough speech to win a few here and there =P] There is little I know and there is much I simply yap about but I make sure that if its really got to be said, it better be said, however in the wrong or right. I feel much. There are lot of things I plainly observe and those are sort of the things that I adore writing about. I'm inspired by minute details and small things that have a huge impact much later on. There is much more to me that most know and many have bothered not about. Not like I want them to. But I'd like to be known. And that's what I think I stand for, being known beyond what is known. =D

Friday, January 30, 2009



it feels good to be appreciated
when we share
with someone who is fair
and yet will show their care
it feels good to be appreciated

it feels good to be appreciated
through a star on the assignment
through even a small compliment
through flattery [but only to an extent]
it feels good to be appreciated

it feels good to be appreciated
when all hope is gone
when the current is strong
and we can't hold on
it feels good to be appreciated.

it feels good to be appreciated
its the best motivation
in any situation
i'm glad there's always
a little appreciation..............


Matters Of No Consequence..

what good is an idea
one cannot execute?
what good is an argument
one can always refute?

what is the worth of love
if not traded for loss?
what guarantee of items
obtained free of cost?

what use is a dream
that disturbs a sleep?
what for are tears
if we do not weep?

why even say yes
if later you'll refuse?
why even bother recycling
when you cringe to reuse?

what purpose do
useless objects serve?
which is a courageous man
without a nerve?

what greatness in joy
achieved without pain?
why even work hard
and receive no gains?

why even make friends
who are not for ever?
why mock a fool
after calling him clever?

what need of a book
that teaches not a thing?
why expect any gifts
when none you ever bring?

what need what need
of promises a heap,
which never in a lifetime
you will keep?

why is the inside scared
and the outside strong?
why take away someone's right
through your wrong?

what use is a picture
that just gathers dust?
what fun is a doing
that's done for it must?

what need of questions
when answers there are not?
and why the thinking
when no result it has got?

for all these queries
the solutions lie within
and one who learns them fastest
does the race of life win.


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire II

after that long debate about the movie, the motion picture released in India. in two languages. with two separate censor certificates. the hindi one being a U/A and the english version - A. and for reasons made obvious for those who see it in its true form in english.

i saw the movie. i liked it. i knew i would for one. it is a really well crafted, well edited and even better in execution. the sound was enthralling. the casting and characterization was awesome. i walked out with tears and hope. a smile at 12 midnight. but a debate took place between my parents and me. and i think it needs mention for this is purely why the movie has deserved what it has received.

"how was it?"
"nice. but you can't really agree with the others when they call it a beautiful movie. they could have used better language, better scenes, better everything. there has been much better cinema than this in India"
"i agree about the language but what is the better cinema?? running behind trees and girls in long skirts and extravagant setting??''
"no i'm not saying that but there are movies like TZP and Black and all that deserve more than they have gotten. they deserve to go to the Oscars"
"but Miracle Worker is a better work of art than Black - both on the same subject. and TZP is real and could have been an Oscar nominee but we have not seen other foreign language films also no, like Waltz With Bashir and I've Loved You So Long, which have qualified for such awards. the award guys would have seen Something in them na???"
"hmm, ya but there has been better cinema in India than this. it is more real"
"i disagree, i think the only film maker who has gotten close to real is Madhur Bhandarkar. everyone is still taking off the cream on the surface, not many really go underground, which is possibly what the audiences want to see now. people are still either on the surface or somewhere in the middle. very few have ventured below and given something different that everyone is waiting to see".....

and so it went on. its not necessary to know who won, who said what but what is essential is the realization that films like Slumdog, or any other for that matter, that show the inner realities and the so-called murky underbelly of the nation are what the audience wants to see now. when defining the word different in cinema, we ought to concentrate on works like these as example. it may not be a perfect and beautiful work of art but its brilliant in a really beautiful way. watch it to find out. i know i did...


of things we dont exactly know....

they talk of death and dying
but have you ever heard them trying?
some say it hurts
some see a white light
and the others say its like flying...

they have no experience
no proven sense
and still they refute
the claims to their frauds
and wish the world held them in reverence

towards the end
if it ever mattered
their lives would be ruined
their causes lost
their existences forever shattered

but ultimately if one sees
the world in all its glory
was never meant
or dreamed for anyone
'cause death is a certainty.........


Saturday, January 24, 2009

on the side....

afternoon. my family enters the restaurant with me in tow. we sit. we are waited on. we get menu cards. we see the bill of fares. we begin to order...
"one chicken tikka masala"
"one dal tadka"
"one makhni sabzi"
"3 rotis one butter naan".

the food arrives. i survey the dishes. since i am a vegetarian [converted] i have only the other two dishes to feast on. the dal is served and now its the turn of the sabzi. i allow it to enter the premises of my brass plate. it has beans, carrots, peas, capsicum,sauce and paneer.

lets get one thing straight: i do not eat paneer. i do not relish it.

"now what?? its got paneer"
"eat the rest, put the paneer on the side......."

cut to: everyday life

this one incident occurs quite a few times in my life and similar things happen to everyone. we refuse certain things put in our plates but the best solution is to eat the best, leave the rest. on the side.

this one lesson which has its origin in food i shun has become quite a huge part of me now. what ever comes in one's path is really not one's doing. it just presents itself and expects to be dealt with. there would necessarily be some elements that one cannot utilize or cope with. the best solution, instead of any other [which might lead to disastrous consequences], is to put it out of one's path.

if we begin to live with this policy of just side-tracking the obstacles that we think are problem-causing, we can save ourselves a lot of trouble, thought and energy - trust me! it is just a matter of prioritization maybe but its the only way that we can really really win with the cards we've been dealt. there's no point in packing off just because one of the five that we have is bad! that way everything would be pathetic and left off purely because it has something that is not to our liking. we'd never be happy. we'd never have anything in life to begin with......

so lets all just not crib, and indulge in the wonderful dishes on life's menu....


Thursday, January 22, 2009

When Life Just Stops....

it has been 8(going on 9) years since i have been writing. it started innocent with really childish poems and stuff and now i think i write with a little more sense and experience behind me....but never in these years, ever, have i suffered from writer's block. i do now. and quite frequently..

what a hypocrite, you might say because i talk of writer's block and you still see the occasional note. but the fact that the notes are only occasional and not like the frequency at which they were generated earlier bothers sometimes occurs to me that i must be too caught up to concentrate on my one true talent [although people may think otherwise (about the talent thing) ] but later an idea popped : am i losing it all? have i, like the humans on earth, exhausted my resources?

see, i believe that one can be out of ideas, but to be out of execution powers? i mean, i know very few people can write because it is not something that someone can teach you, but there definitely cannot be a time where there are ideas, which never seem to materialize! somewhat like a miscarriage [if you can really get into comparison mode but i will not indulge]

ultimately, this note, only only and only talks about the "phases" we all go through, writers or no-writers....i believe, that this is not the end, i know it cant be, it wont be, because i have soooo much more within me that i want to let out, i just cannot wait to jump up and start all over again! start ideating, start executing, start living.......'cause that's all i know how to do.....


Tuesday, January 20, 2009


when i'm there
i go unnoticed.
when i leave,
i take the world with me

from me the is the earth
the sun, the moon
the stars
we all love to see

i arouse beauty
i induce purity
i release anger
for i long to be free

i have no form
no dimension nor direction
i just have one goal
in the hearts of all i must be

there is no soul alive without me
i fuel the circle of life
i bring change and reformation
i'm a lifebuoy for those at sea

there is none alien from me
but today no one even admits
that i'll make the sun rise and set
and turn the world around till eternity....


Wednesday, January 14, 2009


the 12th of January really proved to be a landmark day for every Indian, whether in India or abroad. it was the day that an Indian based movie won four Golden Globe Awards and the first time, as far as my knowledge goes, that an Indian has been honoured with this award. the movie is Slumdog Millionaire.

little background: this is a movie by director Danny Boyle based on a book by Vikas Swarup called Q and A. the movie won four awards:
best screenplay - Simon Beaufoy
best director - Danny Boyle
best original music score - A.R. Rahman
best motion picture [drama] - Slumdog Millionaire.

now, that day was a day of national pride where a movie about our city, its people and certain elements that exist within was lauded with such a high honour. but there are people who will easily refute me on this one with the following statements:
ya right, a movie about slums, their people and conditions as a national pride?
but the movie was made by a foreign national, why even call it Indian?
why really consider any other laurel than the one given to Rahman as our own?

the answers now follow...

well, the fact that out of everything that our country is based on and exhibits proudly objects at grass root level were taken as subject of an award winning novel and then a film?? not that we must be proud of the existence of slums in our country or anywhere for that matter but it is a great feeling to know that someone voiced their concern too, even though it was through fiction and drama. they too have a life you know and its great that their lives, however turbulent and battered, have inspired such works of art.

Danny Boyle is a foreign national. agreed. but what about the fact that he had so many Indians on his cast and crew? the cast was Indian and included actors like Anil Kapoor and Irrfan Khan along with many others. the co-director is Loveleen Tandan, an Indian. even A.R.Rahman was chosen for his part, he too is much of an Indian connection with the movie that has gained critical acclaim all over the world and we should only laud Rahman? why not the whole movie? it is a matter of great joy that our country is making advances in this field and coming out shining at the top, even if we start from the bottom!

ultimately, i'm not here to change any opinions, only here to present another. this is purely a matter of perspective and i think that if we chose the positive over the negative, we would all make progress in our fields.



its the test to find the truest of true
the purest of pure
its when times are the hardest
and the best thing to do is ENDURE.

endurance of the emotional backlog
endurance of the pain
enduring the elasticity
until there is a strain.....

sometimes we hang on tight
afraid of what we'll loose
but its the insecurity with which
we blow-out the fuse

sometimes its hard to let go
of the remains of the rope untied
and really pushing to make it work
and not just knowing we tried

though seated side by side
the space between is enormous
the games played by people and the mind
always prove to be dangerous

never seeing face
nor hearing the voice we love
pushes us over the edge
until we've had enough

the wind is strong
the current is high
while some let go easily
the others dont seem to tire

its the one who holds onto the cliff
even when blown away
that passes the test of distances
the truest of true they say....



the year 2008 brought us quite a few good and bad things along with many others....some of these were pure fun, others were pure nonsense.....but one thing that has sort of got my attention is the MTV Tickr.

for those unfamiliar with the concept, the Tickr is a sort of infinitely scrolling marquee at the bottom of the screen that has an opinion to voice about practically everything under the sun. at times these opinions are fun but other times, the wit takes a really cruel form of sarcasm. sarcasm that should not only be restricted to a certain audience but one that shouldn't really exist to begin with.

frankly speaking, there are certain sections of the Tickr that i really like - their horoscope and sometimes the jokes they crack on famous celebs. but the rest of the times, i end up not wanting to flick to that channel. the remarks are hurtful and very very rude and look like they come from a place where the writer is of a high personal opinion.

just this morning there was a certain feature about being stuck in a lift with Anil Kapoor. the remarks were really pathetic and taunted certain aspects of his work and even had a comment that said "congratulate him on the success of Slumdog Millionaire at the Golden Globes....and then say 'oh, wait, you didnt get one right??' "......

this one really got to my nerves because it was a moment of national pride for us when Slumdog Millionaire won the 4 awards at the ceremony, and it being tarnished in any way even by an insignificant little purple and white thing was really wrong....

coming to the conclusion, i do not wish to advocate in any sort of manner that the Tickr or any of its comments or anything associated with it but i just thought it appropriate to voice, not an opinion but a concern, about what we are indulging in and what really is the world coming to...


Sunday, January 4, 2009

girl power or overpower?


having said that, i shall now begin an observation of what i have been seeing for a past few years.

women liberation, women empowerment and in kiddie terms, girl power, are subjects that have dominated the scene for quite a while now. reason being the sharp rise in molestation cases or women harassment cases across the globe. every career now boasts of a woman on top of it. everywhere one sees praises of women and how they are so strong and how they multitask and how this and how that.

men are scum. they are so low down. dont they have shame enough to respect a woman. they are so domineering. they had better realise that the woman makes their home home enough to live in. they have an overly large ego. why are they so suppressive? why dont they understand her needs? why is it all about them? why? why? why?

two different genders. and they have had their day in two separate eras. but i think that this whole women are better and men ought to know their place thing is going a bit to far now. i mean, now the man is the more downtrodden creature and no one is saying a thing. instead, now there are new complaints sprouting up! and then if they guy tries to say something, they jsut start off with the rut " its all about you"....

i belong to the female sex too you know and i too enjoy the advantages i get out of such demands and complaints and the final submission. but the fact is, i'm now kinda feeling sorry for the man. not like i am going to give up the whole overriding position we have earned but we have to tone it down a bit. we cant always be the supreme power!

there is also one more hitch i have with this whole thing is that women are actually trying to associate themselves with EVERYthing that men do. what they forget in this pursuit is that there are somethings we have already aced that men can only dream to do. and some things are best left to them. if we constantly run this race for supremacy, it'll just be like a world war with every country racing to have top-notch armaments.

give it a rest. it need not go back to square one but we can all come to a mutual consensus and know that everything is perfect in its place. if you try to paint the sky red and paint the grass purple, you're bound to have a world far worse than it was before you began to revolutionize it.


teens accused - guilty as charged???

whoaa! its been a good long time since i've been down this road! first off, happy new year! well this year is certainly turning out to be new in terms of feelings, emotions, situations and expectations......but all rolled into one, we get the end product as teenage or, to use a bigger word to show my brainy self off, adolescence.

hmph! where does one begin with this? terribly done to death with boring, long articles and speeches droning on and on about problems with understanding, maturity and its cure. but all done by adults. here comes the reality check: adults really cant get at the real deal just because they've crossed the stage and not-so surprisingly enough, the times have drastically changed, even from one generation to the next. point being, its better to know about the disease from the one that endures it.

lets get started shall we?

accusation: teens do NOT value relationships.

the truth: that's the worse thing you can tell anyone, specially a teen. its now that they begin to explore various relationships and their true significance in their lives. it is now that girls go our with their mothers to spend a girls day out and guys actually break the ice with their fathers. it is now that they have infatuations and boyfriends and girlfriends. it is now that they treasure their friends. it is now that they finally know the family as a family and not as the sweet uncles and aunties who get toys and chocolates for the little five-year old. don't accuse them with this, because it will truly break their highly vulnerable hearts and in all probability, make them averse to emoting and caring for relationships that matter the most.

accusation: teens have understanding issues where parents don't get them and vice-versa.

the truth: that comes with the fact that they really cant have a very active role in this phase of our lives because we're so busy understanding ourselves, how can we possibly understand much else? and if adults in relationships and marriages claim at times that they are unable to understand one another, why are we the prime accused under this crime?

accusation: teens are not mature enough....for practically anything!

the truth: do you actually expect a teenager to know stuff very much out of their league and area of expertise and still expect them to enjoy the age they belong to? i mean if teens at 15 and 16 get into stuff like relationship counselling as a career now, when are they supposed to live the years of extreme crazes and fun times???????

accusation: teens are confused. period.

the truth: ummm, confused??? well if that's the case, perhaps the accusers would like to go deeper to the root cause - too much pressure! i mean, if you are actually going to ask the child to widen their horizon into various fields and be the best at it, at a time when they're supposed to make their career choices and plan out the rest of their lives, they're bound to be confused. you cant be a jack of all traits when its time for you to master at least one to suffice your existence.

accusation:teens have erratic mood swings and are not even tempered.

the truth: really? and it does not apply to any other section of society? with the exceptions of sages and perfect people, everyone has this problem. blame it on hormones but we're just growing up people, give us a break!

accusation: teen=mean.

the truth: not all teens are the bad boy and bad girl types yaar! come off it! don't generalise. that's a major problem with all our "society" and it shall be dwelt upon soon....

the biggest myth of all about all of the above: there is a cure.....

myth-buster: WRONGO!!!! absolutely not! though there are members of the teen group who can be found guilty under any of the above or any others but hey, there is no medicine, therapy or counselling that can undo what has built up over the years. its all a phase, we all go through it, it gets over, we're no longer part of it. that's it. the only way to actually get over stuff like this, is let time take its decided action on all of it. we have to just leave it be sometimes and not nag, okay! there are things that cant be talked out, cant be understood, cant be shared and sometimes, the perfect thing to do is leave it be.

to finally let you go from this teen-talk, one cannot predict or chalk out the lives of teenagers, because they are all so different and unique and special. each of us is on the quest for their identity and the time allotted to us is now. so the best thing for anyone other than this person to do is to be patient, calm and supportive but not imposingly so, so as to burden. just for the teen to know that you're there is enough, because believe it or not, we might look like we hate elders, who generously give advice and generally people who fall under such a category, we need you all the same.

a note before i take your leave: this is not an attempt for a teen to shame anyone or anything that counters these statements. this is also not a means of venting out anger of any sort. this was purely a means to get our side of the story across. a humble apology with all my heart to anyone that i have offended.