As girls in general go, stereotypically speaking, I don't qualify as an out-and-out girl. And as the process of making close friends goes, my friends usually lie on the other side of the gender fence. I've always found it a easier task, and hence a choice, to find lasting friends in the male race, as it were. This probably owing to two facts - one, that I've always studied in a co-ed set up so far, and two, that I'm the only girl and the youngest child in my family, thus making it mandatory that I mingle with boys, men and the like.
This major part of my characteristic behaviour contributes to both harm and good in this department. I've ended up being confronted with the dividing line between "friends" and "something else" quite a few times. I dealt with it foully a few times, and a few cherished falls later, I've risen above to a different understanding. One of those times has been now, and his level of understanding has only made me wiser, if nothing else.
He's a friend, and something else, but he's a friend and nothing else. We've only really gotten to know each other through the last two years, being in the same school and having been thrown into situations with ease. At first glance, he's in-your-face, serious, confident, unconcerned and at times, annoying. It took me three long months to realise that I was judging him based on an exterior created by circumstance, experience, intelligence and practicality. He still can come across as he did at first glance, but he's mostly funny, smart, understanding and downright honest! He can't mince his words even if he tried, because he likes to keep it simple.
We've fought tonnes, even tried not talking to each other. But I guess sometimes, you need a few time tested trials to ascertain that this friend and/or something else is for keeps. But there again was that dividing line, that question - is he just a friend? can he be more? do I want him to be more than he is? does he want me to be more than I am?
Knowing his honesty and [mostly] non-judgmental air, I told him about what I was thinking. We hypothesized tonnes and finally reached a conclusion that pretty much altered my perception of anything like this in the future, and anything like this that is in the past. We're friends for each other, and can be more, and will be if there is a time that warrants that, but for now, we'd rather have this happy place where we feel pure admiration for each other, without having to label it as a relationship. We're both smart enough to understand that time where neither or both of us would feel the need to expand into a whole new domain. And neither would sever ties as friends even if we fell out of love, as it were, because, like he says [and I quote] "a friendship not strong enough to stand the fact that one has started liking the other isn't worth having in the first place."
He's just the same each day, I remain the same each day, with only a tad bit more respect for him and myself. Our friendship has remained, if not grown stronger. He's still special to me. I still mean something to him. And that's how it stands. He has taught me a few things, he learns a few here and there from me, and that's how we want it, for now. Whether we go anywhere from here or not doesn't tickle me, because this point where we're at right now is rare and something that I'd be a fool to mess up!
They say that two people of the opposite sex find it hard to be friends for long. If confronted with this a few years ago, I'd agree. Wholeheartedly. At that point, my own experience convinced me that the grey area cannot exist. Life is wholly black and white. Today, after a few years of learning, living and loving, I couldn't disagree more.
=D
