Knowing Me...

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If I say I'm just a teenager leading a life as normal as it can get, I sort of defy what I stand for. Its not all that easy but it has its moments. I like those moments when they come along and they bring with them a significant amount of emotion, which I only began expressing in words at age 7. Since then, its all about the writing. It gets to certain people and some just don't get it! But I think that its important for me to write because that is maybe the only talent that exists in me [not denying the presence of good enough speech to win a few here and there =P] There is little I know and there is much I simply yap about but I make sure that if its really got to be said, it better be said, however in the wrong or right. I feel much. There are lot of things I plainly observe and those are sort of the things that I adore writing about. I'm inspired by minute details and small things that have a huge impact much later on. There is much more to me that most know and many have bothered not about. Not like I want them to. But I'd like to be known. And that's what I think I stand for, being known beyond what is known. =D

Monday, April 2, 2012

Something Missing

There comes that time in life when you feel like sitting on deck-chair with a cool drink in your hand, watching the sunset restore calm in the world and your life. That time usually comes when you've got everything you ever asked for. Everything you ever dreamed of has been achieved and now you can relax. But wait, this perfect picture has something missing and you can't for the life of you put a finger on it. Drat.

Sadly, I am in that place right about now. I've actuy been able to tick off almost all the items on my checklist. Feels great! And then a moment comes towards the end of the day where all I am thinking about is - what's missing? Something is not right. This moment is incomplete. What completes it? Honest answer? I don't know.

Its a feeling that gnaws on my insides every single day and the worst bit is how in the world am I supposed to quit wanting beyond the happiness? Its not pretty. Its not good. And its definitely not what I want to go through. I don't want to negate the happiness I have already. But its all incomplete.

But it dawns on me at the exact same time that maybe being incomplete is kind of the point of life. Its something close to what they taught us in economics - the theory of fiscal deficits. It says that its always good to have a deficit in the debit and credit of an economy to facilitate development otherwise in a balanced situation the economy stands to stagnate. Assuredly, life is like that. If I have nothing to dream about, nothing to fight for and nothing to miss, I won't ever grow out of what I am right now. Perhaps I'll develop a new side to me in trying to find what's missing. And with a little bit of time, luck and help from people who love me, I might just someday complete this jigsaw puzzle that I've been working on. And that day, the picture will be pretty again and the sunset will restore calm as imagined.

=D

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