Untitled

He didn't just break her heart,
He broke her spirit
And in the bargain he lost
That chirpy girl he once knew.

He didn't just play with her emotions
He played her mind
And as a trophy he won happiness
And lost her trust.

He didn't just hurt her feelings
He hurt her soul
And in the process he lost
Little things she did to make him smile.

He made her cry
and made her doubt herself
And in doing so he lost
The little confidence she had in who he could be and who he was.

He lost her love
And her overall
And through all this, she only thought
Of what she would lose or miss.

Something Missing

There comes that time in life when you feel like sitting on deck-chair with a cool drink in your hand, watching the sunset restore calm in the world and your life. That time usually comes when you've got everything you ever asked for. Everything you ever dreamed of has been achieved and now you can relax. But wait, this perfect picture has something missing and you can't for the life of you put a finger on it. Drat.

Sadly, I am in that place right about now. I've actuy been able to tick off almost all the items on my checklist. Feels great! And then a moment comes towards the end of the day where all I am thinking about is - what's missing? Something is not right. This moment is incomplete. What completes it? Honest answer? I don't know.

Its a feeling that gnaws on my insides every single day and the worst bit is how in the world am I supposed to quit wanting beyond the happiness? Its not pretty. Its not good. And its definitely not what I want to go through. I don't want to negate the happiness I have already. But its all incomplete.

But it dawns on me at the exact same time that maybe being incomplete is kind of the point of life. Its something close to what they taught us in economics - the theory of fiscal deficits. It says that its always good to have a deficit in the debit and credit of an economy to facilitate development otherwise in a balanced situation the economy stands to stagnate. Assuredly, life is like that. If I have nothing to dream about, nothing to fight for and nothing to miss, I won't ever grow out of what I am right now. Perhaps I'll develop a new side to me in trying to find what's missing. And with a little bit of time, luck and help from people who love me, I might just someday complete this jigsaw puzzle that I've been working on. And that day, the picture will be pretty again and the sunset will restore calm as imagined.

=D

Well Worded?

Your words defined some
and defiled others. They questioned,
They answered, and debated.
But they never stopped.

You string long sentences with words
As if you could fit all you felt
Into sentences.
And you use your muse -
Word after word.

I watched and wondered
About how our lives were so planned
And then you used words
That i did not understand.

If only we lived wordlessly. But that would not do.
I would not feel my words turn into you,
But this is all i can give or do.
Because my words were never a match for you.

You will just smile and say how
Charming you find my sentences
and how beautifully put together my words are.
For you, i am expressive, impressive, moving, touching, random, fantastic and so out of this world
and seldom something else.

For me, you're now nothing more than a string of words.

Distant Dreams

Those were days that are now distant dreams
Dreams that were once so real
that we lived them -
every day, every hour, every waking minute
of blissful togetherness.

Those were days where the self
could not possibly mean something greater
than someone else -
someone we loved, cherished, protected
and somehow understood.

Those were days where we listened
not just heard each other through our ears
but opened our hearts -
souls connecting, communicating, merging
into one bond.

Those were days, but this is the life
that we lead now, and have moved
past dreams that were once ours -
wholly, holy, now ungodly
for they were just dreams.

Reality can never live up to what we have dreamed of.
It only looks at our dreams and somehow manages to scoff.

Power

Power limitless, power unbound,
Unchained, unharnessed,
Power profound.
Power to show, power to see,
Growing, flowing,
Powerful entity.

Light for countless, light for all,
Supreme, extreme,
Rise and fall.
Power revered, a powerful fall,
Unquestioned, unmoved,
Power at all?

Imperfect Disguise

Always was a somebody
A person that wasn't me
A new countenance over my own
To hide what they shouldn't see.

I marveled at my skill to transform
My art of disappearing behind layers
Oh, the satisfaction of it all
To play among greater players.

Barring from sight all that i was
All that i stood for thus far
Only to take on a colour of what i saw
Fool-proof fool-hardy camouflage.

I thought i was secure
Safe, in my shrouded identity
But someone saw the ugly side
Someone did surely see.

His gaze tore through the layers
The years of error and lies
But it wasn't me he scorned
It was my pretence he despised.

I tried my best to trick his mind
With artless disguise upon disguise
I remain imperfect, forevermore
In his soul searing eyes.

[Untitled]

For her self pride and a bit of dignity,
she refuses to let her emotions flow.
But deep down, she only cries
for she is afraid to let go.
There are moments and memories
that shroud the pain and the sorrow.
And only to reclaim what is seemingly lost
she refuses to let go.

She dons that dress over and over,
fixes her hair just right,
loose, over one shoulder it spreads,
and not in a ponytail tight.
For that's how she remembers him liking it
and that's all the love he had to show
and for that love, just that much
she refuses to let go.

One day he remarked on the colour he liked.
Even though he in passing did so,
she holds that colour dear to her heart
and uses it more than before.
 For she loved to see his face light up
Every time in her outfit the colour did show
for that ounce of rather casual love
she dared not let go.

She knows they are bound on separate roads
And to her reach his love will not grow
The pain has not wholly sunk in
Her realisation is rather slow
But for the times they shared, for the little that he cared
and for the fact that he always let her know,
she'll hold onto the friend she's bound to lose
and she'd rather no let go.

[Title suggestions welcome]